No love is selfless!!!!

 

Hey human,

Hope you all are doing well. 

There was this lady in my neighborhood who was always asking for respect from their family members. Asking? you might wonder. Yes she was literally asking, she used to tell or shout at her family members that they are not giving her enough respect. 

I happen to know the family and one of the family members told me that, they give her enough respect but she thinks she deserves more. She thinks she should be treated like a queen for the things she has done for her family. And the family thinks, what she has done is not an extraordinary thing and it was her responsibility to do. The family members feel that she is expecting too much. For all the silly things she wants to get involved and she is not allowing others to take any decisions without going through her.

The lady claims that since she has done so many sacrifices for the family without prioritizing  herself . She often feels, she has done those sacrifices like no other in the world and she should be respected and treated like a queen.

I was torn between two parties and I felt sorry for the lady at the same time was unhappy that why is she asking for a validation or expecting all those when she has done things many have done and have been doing in life. It was not an extraordinary sacrifice but as we all know sacrifice is a sacrifice. 

I am still torn to tell who is right and who is wrong in this scenario. This is applicable in all relationships. everyone expects and I don't think that can be avoided but according to me yes, it can be controlled. My mind is filled with questions now,

 Expecting is correct or is it too much of an expectation in this case?

 How much respect should be given to a person?

 How to quantify the feelings (gratitude, love, selflessness etc.,)? 

How can one show gratitude to the person who has sacrificed something for them? 

How to determine what is too much and what is not and when to stop asking for something?

what is the tolerance level of a person (asking end or giving end)?

 How much one can keep asking or cribbing on the same thing?

How much one can blame others for the decisions they have taken in their life?

How much one can expect? How much one can love? Is love always conditional?

Can love be completely unconditional? 

or as Joey says in 'Friends' series "no love is selfless".

Have you come across these people in your life? or are YOU these people? 

When comes to love, sacrifice and life its always complicated isn't it?

After all, who am I to tell, I'm just a mere common commoner.

yours truly,

TCC

Shhhhhhhh..... it's a SECRET!!!

 Hey Human,

Its been really very very long since I wrote something here. I won't apologize and do the same thing again. So lets establish whenever I can I will put my thoughts here 😊.  Hope you all are doing good in life. 

Yesterday night I got up suddenly and didn't sleep for a while. I don't know the reason and I was thinking many random things but something about secrets kept me awake for some more time. You all know that, we have secrets in life, few secrets will forever die with us and few we tell to others and it wont be our secret anymore. 

There was this one time when I was talking with my friend and I asked him 'I will tell you a secret, but promise me that you will never tell anyone'. He smilingly answered 'if you are telling me then its not a secret anymore, is it?'. I was like ' why? I'm telling you alone and it will be secret between us'. He said 'once its out of you then it's not a secret. However I assure you I won't tell anyone'. Then I told him the secret and later we discussed on that topic. 

You people might be thinking why am I telling you this instead of telling you the secret, it's because the thing which he told me about secret not being a secret, suddenly kept me awake for sometime yesterday. I was thinking about secrets which we sometimes are very proud of. The more secretive we look or portray or the more mysterious we manage to project ourselves the more open we are sometimes to few people. I am not saying that we should be an open book always but just for the sake of it don't project it. Few are genuinely private I have huge respect for them. They mind their own business rather than fake it. 

Coming back to secrets, I have many which I haven't shared it with anyone but only with my my mind and soul. I have told few secrets to people whom I am close with and that has made my heart light, it's like I have shared half of my burden. Are those shared secrets are still safe with them? I would like to believe 'YES' if not, if at all people have shared it with someone they are very close with, then I don't know. As my friend told it's not a secret anymore. Sometimes I feel, may be we want our secrets to be known. I don't know what to say👀. How about your secrets? Are they safe? Do you also share it with your loved ones? 

 I am just blabbering things aren't I?. After all, who am I to tell, I'm just a mere common commoner.

yours truly,

TCC