How about living a teen's life???

Hey Human,

Today I am gonna write about my teenage days. You all remember how you were when you were from thirteen to eighteen right? High harmones, high energy, high enthusiasm, high dreams, feeling high on emotions, high expectations, high on every damn thing. Always always trying or wanting new, sometimes something scary new, having the feeling that CAN DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. Well in my case I was always high on emotions. There were times I was so confident about my looks, my talent, my body, my brain, my people (I always thought they all love me like I am their best- friend/cousin/child/student etc.) everything and then there was the time, when I doubted on everything.

 I felt so bad I cant even imagine that "feeling" now. It was so painful, that much I can tell. 

I felt no love, no kindness, no nothing. It was always very very sad. I used to hear all sad songs and not only hear them, I felt them. Each letter in the lyrics. I used to worry all the time that I will never be loved. I was living in a shell of sadness. 

 "No one likes me", "no one adores me", "no one admires me", "no one loves me", "I am not good looking", "all others have people who adore them", "others are so good at everything" etc etc etc.,

It took me few years to overcome entirely but I did overcome. 

Now whenever I think of that phase, I feel I wasted my energies on things which didn't even matter. 

But trust me those were burning issues to me when I was a teenager or when I was under 21.

I know we all have been there, we all share own past which we are not very proud of. 

Everyone of us, no matter how famous you were, we all  had our own set of insecurities. But we all surpassed those. We lived those fears and overcame many of them. I know it's a slow process to overcome few fears but that doesn't make us weak. If we were weak we wouldn't be here now. Not that I am telling anything bad but like I wouldn't be writing and you wouldn't be reading this and feeling that 'yes, once I was too', 'once I had too'....

So the bottom line is we all can overcome anything. We just have to live that particular day and trust me next day will be better. Again follow the same process "JUST LIVE THE DAMN DAY" and keep repeating 'this too shall pass and new sun will rise'. 

Sometimes I have lived 'the hour', 'the minute'. After that particular hour or particular minute that particular pain reduced. I am not lying I have done that and still do it sometimes. Living that particular minute or hour or day will be extremely difficult but we all have to do it. 

It's like you walk under raging hot sun and then run to find a place with shade. We all do it in our daily hustle. While going for shopping, or walking to work or just walking sometimes on the road. Same thing we have to do for our emotions, take that raging sun's extreme hotness for some moment and then rest in shade feeling the hotness go off of our head.

I also agree that, those years are just golden. Because our energy was just outstanding then. Some of you who are reading this are living those years and some of you, like me, have passed those years. Those who are living, please keep the energy and no matter what your insecurities are. Just remember you will survive. Trust me on this. Those who have already passed, please bring back that positive energy, at least some of it so that you can make the present more energetic.

Whenever I feel low now I tap that energy and feel like I want to do it, I want to conquer the world.

You never know when you tap into yours you might be surprised. You might find "MAGIC".

No matter what I tell or write its all "YOU" who can make 'YOU', lift 'YOU', 'create 'YOU'. 

Remember that "MAGIC IS NOTHING BUT YOU". 

It's up to you to tap on your inner energy and know yourself more. Who am I to tell I'm just a mere common commoner.

Your's truly,

TCC

No love is selfless!!!!

 

Hey human,

Hope you all are doing well. 

There was this lady in my neighborhood who was always asking for respect from their family members. Asking? you might wonder. Yes she was literally asking, she used to tell or shout at her family members that they are not giving her enough respect. 

I happen to know the family and one of the family members told me that, they give her enough respect but she thinks she deserves more. She thinks she should be treated like a queen for the things she has done for her family. And the family thinks, what she has done is not an extraordinary thing and it was her responsibility to do. The family members feel that she is expecting too much. For all the silly things she wants to get involved and she is not allowing others to take any decisions without going through her.

The lady claims that since she has done so many sacrifices for the family without prioritizing  herself . She often feels, she has done those sacrifices like no other in the world and she should be respected and treated like a queen.

I was torn between two parties and I felt sorry for the lady at the same time was unhappy that why is she asking for a validation or expecting all those when she has done things many have done and have been doing in life. It was not an extraordinary sacrifice but as we all know sacrifice is a sacrifice. 

I am still torn to tell who is right and who is wrong in this scenario. This is applicable in all relationships. everyone expects and I don't think that can be avoided but according to me yes, it can be controlled. My mind is filled with questions now,

 Expecting is correct or is it too much of an expectation in this case?

 How much respect should be given to a person?

 How to quantify the feelings (gratitude, love, selflessness etc.,)? 

How can one show gratitude to the person who has sacrificed something for them? 

How to determine what is too much and what is not and when to stop asking for something?

what is the tolerance level of a person (asking end or giving end)?

 How much one can keep asking or cribbing on the same thing?

How much one can blame others for the decisions they have taken in their life?

How much one can expect? How much one can love? Is love always conditional?

Can love be completely unconditional? 

or as Joey says in 'Friends' series "no love is selfless".

Have you come across these people in your life? or are YOU these people? 

When comes to love, sacrifice and life its always complicated isn't it?

After all, who am I to tell, I'm just a mere common commoner.

yours truly,

TCC

Shhhhhhhh..... it's a SECRET!!!

 Hey Human,

Its been really very very long since I wrote something here. I won't apologize and do the same thing again. So lets establish whenever I can I will put my thoughts here 😊.  Hope you all are doing good in life. 

Yesterday night I got up suddenly and didn't sleep for a while. I don't know the reason and I was thinking many random things but something about secrets kept me awake for some more time. You all know that, we have secrets in life, few secrets will forever die with us and few we tell to others and it wont be our secret anymore. 

There was this one time when I was talking with my friend and I asked him 'I will tell you a secret, but promise me that you will never tell anyone'. He smilingly answered 'if you are telling me then its not a secret anymore, is it?'. I was like ' why? I'm telling you alone and it will be secret between us'. He said 'once its out of you then it's not a secret. However I assure you I won't tell anyone'. Then I told him the secret and later we discussed on that topic. 

You people might be thinking why am I telling you this instead of telling you the secret, it's because the thing which he told me about secret not being a secret, suddenly kept me awake for sometime yesterday. I was thinking about secrets which we sometimes are very proud of. The more secretive we look or portray or the more mysterious we manage to project ourselves the more open we are sometimes to few people. I am not saying that we should be an open book always but just for the sake of it don't project it. Few are genuinely private I have huge respect for them. They mind their own business rather than fake it. 

Coming back to secrets, I have many which I haven't shared it with anyone but only with my my mind and soul. I have told few secrets to people whom I am close with and that has made my heart light, it's like I have shared half of my burden. Are those shared secrets are still safe with them? I would like to believe 'YES' if not, if at all people have shared it with someone they are very close with, then I don't know. As my friend told it's not a secret anymore. Sometimes I feel, may be we want our secrets to be known. I don't know what to say👀. How about your secrets? Are they safe? Do you also share it with your loved ones? 

 I am just blabbering things aren't I?. After all, who am I to tell, I'm just a mere common commoner.

yours truly,

TCC

Are you thinking !!!

 

Hey Human,

Its been so longggggggg, right? I'm sorry 😢  I am not going to give any reasons today for not writing anything. I guess it doesn't make sense. I didn't write anything so I am sincerely asking you all sorry. I hope you will forgive me as always and continue reading.

I was contemplating how interconnected we are all the other day. We are all interconnected in some manner, regardless of our gender, where we live, how we were raised, etc. After all, we are all humans, and I think that we are all connected.

We feel empathy, and sympathy for each other, we look after each other and also we look after other species dwelling on this planet. 

I know what you are thinking 'what the hell is this person talking about?' coz we never see anything like this nowadays. We don't feel each other's pain, we always complain about how well another person is doing and by complaining we feel jealous and talk ill about them, we are happy to gossip and make each other's life miserable, we bully each other, we always think we are perfect and others are wrong, only we feel pain, only we have difficulties, only we have problems that cannot be solved, we show authority depending upon our position (maybe at work or in relationships) and take advantage of others, we always see other's fault, we tend to become more and more negative, we rob, we destroy, we kill, we rape, we terrorize, we do unspeakable things, etc etc etc and the list never ends.

Have we for one moment thought, the "we" or "they" or "people" we talk about are 'us'? 

We always tend to do things in our own way not knowing we are hurting each other. Think for a moment in a day how many people have you made happy and how many have you hurt(not major hurting may be by talking something ill). 

Whenever you think about it, I want you all to keep aside the "I" concept. Think from another person's perspective. Think why that situation happened keeping your ego aside. Think like a human with humanity. Not always what you do is right no matter the situation. Try to be human, it's high time now. If you think right, your future generation will have a better place to live. If you don't think right, future generation will just collapse and we might not be called humans in the near future. Maybe, we might get a new name for our species. I can think of many ill names which will be given to us, I guess you are more creative than me and guess the names.

I strongly believe if we all think well and think healthy, we can build a better future. Do you think any negativity will thrive on this planet? I don't think so. We are the creators of our thoughts and at the same time we can be the destroyers of ill thoughts too. 

If we cannot think healthy and act right, let's not do it at all. 

Let's not think and give birth to something which can destroy us.

Let's only create good and happy things. 

Think ill, you can destroy everyone including yourself.

Don't think, you are safe. 

Think well, you can create wonders I promise!

And here we go, I just told you people my thoughts. It's up to you to do or not or how you do it. Who am I to tell, I'm just a mere common commoner.

yours truly,

TCC

Grief and us.....

 

             

Hey Human,

I hope everyone is doing well. I am aware that it has been a very long time since I last wrote. I apologise for being so erratic and a little careless. Since I started this blog with the intention of writing every day, I suppose I failed to uphold my obligation there. So, yes, I am careless, and I accept full responsibility. You see, this is not my "full-time job," so I've been busy lately with both my career and personal matters. I also had to deal with a personal loss on top of everything else. Dealing with that was extremely difficult, but I'm doing better now. I hope you are all kindhearted enough to feel what I'm going through and understand why I have not written anything in a while.

So grief hmmmmmmm, I'm pretty sure we have all had this experience at some point in our life. I am going to talk about the loss of someone who was very important to us and how we deal with grief, today. Each of us handles things differently. In the end, all we want to do is get over the pain, that helplessness, that unbearable heartache, the awful anguish and the void inside of us. Each of us has our own way and most of the time we somehow try to convince the world that, everything is ok but deep down we know it's not going to be the same anymore.

The personal loss I mentioned before involved a member of my family. I witnessed the devastating anguish of parents losing their child that day, and it was heartbreaking to even imagine the pain they felt and the way they handled themselves. They are, I must say, rather strong, and they are trying to fulfil their child's dream, that is how they are coping with their loss. Do not think that I am recommending that any of you deal in the same manner. You folks undoubtedly know how to handle grief, but I will make one request: DEAL WITH IT. Deal with it means accepting the loss, acknowledging the loss and understanding the loss. Don't discredit it or mask it with your "I'm OK" lie, please. I'm fairly certain that you cannot simply be OK with losing someone.

Sometimes we don't process the grief completely or appropriately, and as a result, we develop completely new personalities. The majority of people will repress their emotions, behaving as though they don't care about anything or anyone, becoming utterly selfish, or perhaps despise themselves and the entire world for their suffering. I think you get the message I'm attempting to convey here. You cannot get back the person you lost by changing who you are or by hating the world. I apologise 😞. I'm not intentionally trying to be harsh or anything. Just remember to cope with things your own way and avoid changing into someone you later find difficult to deal with and come to regret doing so.

Remember that the person you lost would never want this for you. The person you became after losing them was never loved by that person. Please don't change who you are because you lost someone; they loved you just the way you were. Deal with it and respect that individual, as I already suggested. When you lose someone you truly loved, I know grief can set in, so remembering their good moments or honouring their desires would make you feel so much better, and bring so much positivity. I have a positive feeling that you'll make a positive impact and that you'll support others in their grief.

First and foremost vent all the pain (cry/weep (out loud if you want to) for the loss or seek a therapist if required or share with your trusted people how sad you feel) once you are completely done with venting it all out (I know it's difficult but please try) the few things I advise are : you can try to write about them (what they meant to you and what they taught you), share pictures with the world to show how happy that person made you, always talk what good they did (let's forget all the bitterness, even if it was there a bit), fulfil their wishes etc etc., however, it is entirely up to you people how you want to deal.

I want to suggest a few things to other people who see somebody grieving. Please be supportive of them and try not to criticise them. You never know how they are coping with the loss, and sometimes it's hard for us to understand. Instead of forcing them to become negative, encourage them to become positive. Try to be upbeat and avoid mentioning their loss. Never tell them "it's going to be ok" while they are talking to you about their loss because, believe me, they do not want to hear that. Instead, let them know you will be there for them always and you'll be there to support them and give them time to recover when they're dealing with it.

People will eventually recover from their sorrow, but whether they do so in a positive or negative way depends entirely on you. There is a big contribution (obviously not in a positive sense) from everyone around that individual when a mourning person completely transforms into a new(bad) person by shutting off all feelings. It indicates no one offered them support while they grieved. Let us not be those people. Let's all support each other after all, we are called humans for the same reason, right?

I hope the discussion above got you to consider or make a change in how you feel and act toward others. I hope that you can all make a better person out of someone who is mourning. And people who all are grieving, I am with you guys. I know the suffering, I know the pain. I understand it's difficult to come out of it but never think it's impossible. Just keep in mind that the person we lost does not wish for us to be unhappy and that they are undoubtedly in a better place and we will see them on the other side.

Well, well, these are all of my thoughts. You gotta make the decisions, behave, and deal with the rest. Who am I to tell you, I am just a mere common commoner.



Yours truly,

TCC

Why do you bother???

Hey Human,

I am believing all is well with you. You might be wondering what my frequency of writing is, trust me even I am in the dark😑 However I start writing here whenever there is a topic to be discussed or a story to be told.

I came across a situation where one of my friends was telling me that, it bothers him/her so much when people judge or speak about him/her(I don’t want to reveal the gender. If I do, it will be a gender-specific issue). This thought of my friend got me thinking 🤔 "WHY DO WE BOTHER, WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT US?"

If you keenly observe your life, we do bother very much about people judging us, thinking about us, talking about us. Sometimes it will be our imagination rather than the reality. In reality, people won't even be bothered about our actions but still we "ACT" thinking we will be judged. 

Is this really necessary? Do we have to behave for others? where is our self-consciousness? will we be good, only if someone is watching us? why do we tend to think and waste time on what others might think about this particular action of ours? 

Well, these are all the questions I have and the answer to these questions might vary from person to person. I very well agree that we live in an organized society and it is expected of us to behave in a certain way. But sometimes we overthink in a certain way and end up hurting ourselves by behaving in a way we don't intend. This action according to me is unnecessary. There is a self-conscious existing in all of us, we don’t have to behave always worrying about others (sometimes the "others" referred to here don't even exist in our reality or they don't give a damn about what we are doing). I guess it's high time we act according to our consciousness and stop hurting ourselves. There are ways to overcome these, if you think too much about dear ones getting hurt by your actions then first discuss with them and explain your need to take that particular decision, if they really care about you then they will understand/support, and if they have any other opinion about it they will tell you and a healthy discussion will always help you make wise decisions. Talking or sharing your thoughts is very important, we all are humans and we are blessed with this beautiful skill called "Communication" please utilize it and STOP BOTHERING ABOUT OTHERS. Always remember OTHERS are just your imagination, they exist if you want them to exist. Choose your thoughts wisely. What you think will be created, be careful with your thinking.

Prioritize yourself first, rest you anyhow can manage. Don't cloud your judgments based on OTHERS' THOUGHTS. Make your own life, if you really are concerned about particular people thinking then please talk and resolve. Just start practicing this and see the MAGIC.

I am sure if you stop bothering about what others might think, your thinking capability will be put to proper use and your own productivity will increase. I can only tell, the decision is all yours. 

After all who am I to tell? I am just a mere common commoner.

Yours truly,

TCC

Is Love Painful?

 

Hey Human,

How are you all? long time right? I know.... I am very irregular right? yaa I know 😉 I sincerely apologize for that. I am sorry. 

Ok then let me come straight to the point. I know many of us have felt the pain of losing love. Losing in any way I mean, maybe the person is no more in this world or the person is no more a part of one's life.  Do you think love comes with pain? Hmmm🤨 🤔  I think when anything or any feeling which is attached to an expectation brings out pain. When we don't get what we expect out of something or someone that will bring pain. We love people with expectation always, it may be to love us back or to behave with us in a certain way or any other criteria we attach to that feeling. Have we loved anyone without all these? loved someone unconditionally? I am talking about literally without expecting anything from them. I guess we have not tried that one yet, though sometimes we tend to tell ourselves we loved a peroson unconditionally but that person still did hurt our feelings. When you read the previous sentence dont you think its a contradicting statement? If we love unconditionally how can someone hurt us? so my conclusion to that is we have never tried that. 

I know its a very big ask. I know its very difficult to actually do it.

To love someone unconditionally and have no expectations is something like what nature or universe is giving us. When you think we can achieve something like that one day, we will never tell LOVE is PAINFUL or LOVE BRINGS PAIN. Love will endure, will remain and there will be no hatred amongst us. Love is a beautiful feeling and its never painful. Start this by loving yourself, love yourself without expecting, I guess then you can start loving others. It may seem hard but I know nothing is impossible for you. Love for free, dont attach any baggage. 

Love is pure and it will always bring magic in your life, also you can add magic in someone’s life too💕😀

From nowon, let there be no pain when you love someone 💕

These are all my thoughts, to follow or to ignore is your wish. Who am I to tell...

I am just a mere common commoner.

your's truly,

TCC