Grief and us.....

 

             

Hey Human,

I hope everyone is doing well. I am aware that it has been a very long time since I last wrote. I apologise for being so erratic and a little careless. Since I started this blog with the intention of writing every day, I suppose I failed to uphold my obligation there. So, yes, I am careless, and I accept full responsibility. You see, this is not my "full-time job," so I've been busy lately with both my career and personal matters. I also had to deal with a personal loss on top of everything else. Dealing with that was extremely difficult, but I'm doing better now. I hope you are all kindhearted enough to feel what I'm going through and understand why I have not written anything in a while.

So grief hmmmmmmm, I'm pretty sure we have all had this experience at some point in our life. I am going to talk about the loss of someone who was very important to us and how we deal with grief, today. Each of us handles things differently. In the end, all we want to do is get over the pain, that helplessness, that unbearable heartache, the awful anguish and the void inside of us. Each of us has our own way and most of the time we somehow try to convince the world that, everything is ok but deep down we know it's not going to be the same anymore.

The personal loss I mentioned before involved a member of my family. I witnessed the devastating anguish of parents losing their child that day, and it was heartbreaking to even imagine the pain they felt and the way they handled themselves. They are, I must say, rather strong, and they are trying to fulfil their child's dream, that is how they are coping with their loss. Do not think that I am recommending that any of you deal in the same manner. You folks undoubtedly know how to handle grief, but I will make one request: DEAL WITH IT. Deal with it means accepting the loss, acknowledging the loss and understanding the loss. Don't discredit it or mask it with your "I'm OK" lie, please. I'm fairly certain that you cannot simply be OK with losing someone.

Sometimes we don't process the grief completely or appropriately, and as a result, we develop completely new personalities. The majority of people will repress their emotions, behaving as though they don't care about anything or anyone, becoming utterly selfish, or perhaps despise themselves and the entire world for their suffering. I think you get the message I'm attempting to convey here. You cannot get back the person you lost by changing who you are or by hating the world. I apologise 😞. I'm not intentionally trying to be harsh or anything. Just remember to cope with things your own way and avoid changing into someone you later find difficult to deal with and come to regret doing so.

Remember that the person you lost would never want this for you. The person you became after losing them was never loved by that person. Please don't change who you are because you lost someone; they loved you just the way you were. Deal with it and respect that individual, as I already suggested. When you lose someone you truly loved, I know grief can set in, so remembering their good moments or honouring their desires would make you feel so much better, and bring so much positivity. I have a positive feeling that you'll make a positive impact and that you'll support others in their grief.

First and foremost vent all the pain (cry/weep (out loud if you want to) for the loss or seek a therapist if required or share with your trusted people how sad you feel) once you are completely done with venting it all out (I know it's difficult but please try) the few things I advise are : you can try to write about them (what they meant to you and what they taught you), share pictures with the world to show how happy that person made you, always talk what good they did (let's forget all the bitterness, even if it was there a bit), fulfil their wishes etc etc., however, it is entirely up to you people how you want to deal.

I want to suggest a few things to other people who see somebody grieving. Please be supportive of them and try not to criticise them. You never know how they are coping with the loss, and sometimes it's hard for us to understand. Instead of forcing them to become negative, encourage them to become positive. Try to be upbeat and avoid mentioning their loss. Never tell them "it's going to be ok" while they are talking to you about their loss because, believe me, they do not want to hear that. Instead, let them know you will be there for them always and you'll be there to support them and give them time to recover when they're dealing with it.

People will eventually recover from their sorrow, but whether they do so in a positive or negative way depends entirely on you. There is a big contribution (obviously not in a positive sense) from everyone around that individual when a mourning person completely transforms into a new(bad) person by shutting off all feelings. It indicates no one offered them support while they grieved. Let us not be those people. Let's all support each other after all, we are called humans for the same reason, right?

I hope the discussion above got you to consider or make a change in how you feel and act toward others. I hope that you can all make a better person out of someone who is mourning. And people who all are grieving, I am with you guys. I know the suffering, I know the pain. I understand it's difficult to come out of it but never think it's impossible. Just keep in mind that the person we lost does not wish for us to be unhappy and that they are undoubtedly in a better place and we will see them on the other side.

Well, well, these are all of my thoughts. You gotta make the decisions, behave, and deal with the rest. Who am I to tell you, I am just a mere common commoner.



Yours truly,

TCC